Wednesday, October 14, 2009

that new new

In chief, I would to apologize for the inordinate amount of posts my dear friend, Adam, has made. Because he is recently engaged and nearing the date of his impending doom, he has felt the need to spread his misery to those closest to him. (If you read this Jessie, I assure you he has said nothing like this and he gets a big ‘ole smile on his face every time he talks about you…please don’t dis-invite me from the wedding!) Hopefully, he will find a new hobby soon, like knitting or screen printing and take his psycho-babble somewhere else.

That being said, I just recently got back from a long day that started at 9:30 in the morning when I get my Talmud midterm back. Today was a good day for multiple reasons. I got an excellent grade on said midterm and secondly, I just thought of that Ice Cube song, “Today was a Good Day,” which was an amazing product of the greatness that was West Coast Rap. What has happened to West Coast rap? The product has certainly dropped in the recent past. I had high hopes for the Game, but he failed miserably, kind of like the Chicago Cubs, every season. Man, it must suck to be from Chicago!

Back to my day, which continued with a couple classes, followed by my bar-mitzvah tutee, who didn’t do so well today but I imagine he will “step his game up” by the time the big day comes around. Following the tutoring, I made my triumphant return to the gym at the urging of my good friend, Micah Miller. Micah, in case you don’t know him, is a meathead. He’s the guy who buys those 50 dollar cartons of protein, whey powder, creatine, insert generic GNC product, and lifts a lot of weights and then makes said protein shakes. He has been begging me to come back to the gym and finally I acquiesced.

Luckily, I successfully completed the routing he set out for me, without re-injuring my shoulder or pulling a Stefan Johnson(see article for explanation-…too soon? Refuah Shleimah-speedy recovery, Stefan! which I separated last year (for those of you who don’t know me, I am extremely injury prone. In two successive years, I tore my PCL in my knee and tore my labrum and ac joint in my shoulder. For these injuries, I take no blame. Rather, I lay the blame on my parents who never forced vitamins down my throat, like my other childhood friends. I was so damn jealous of my friends who got to ingest those little delicious flintstone-y treats that I would down them like peanuts whenever I was at my friends’ house). Sorry for the tangent. So, after I returned from the gym, (which is like a giant meat market where these steroid-filled men ogle the scantily clad women and attempt to “pick” out the finest cuts… I’m sure their shrunken testicles thank them), I walked back through campus and looked upon all the fine establishments in our area and decided to make a list of the 5 most overrated and underrated business. That was the original spark for this blog post, sorry, I’m a little tangential…deal with it!

So, without further adieu, here are my lists (listed in ascending order):


5. Campo (bar&restaurant) - A usual late night hotspot which fraternities (of which I will admit my fraternity does) generally rent out for parties. It gets crowded and hot and the ambience depresses the crap out of me.

4. Morton Williams (grocery store) - Extremely overpriced, limited selection, and way too many homeless beggars outside (this will be a future blog post topic, the beggars I mean)
3. Amir’s Falafel- A lot of my friends won’t eat here because it’s owned by a Lebanese man, who, they claim, hates Israel. This is silly. I’ve tried it a few times. Now I will not eat there anymore…not because of the owner’s political leanings but rather because the food tastes like something made of rat’s blood and human excrement.

2. 1020(Bar) - See description of Campo but after leaving this dank hellhole, I feel like I need a whole bottle of prozac.

1. Pinkberry- My mother swears by it. I hate this place with a passion! Everyone who goes there is so pretentious about how great their yogurt is. It tastes like someone put cyanide in it. Give me some old school frozen yogurt and i’ll be a happy camper.

Underrated (I’m only doing three because there are not too many underrated things)

3. Haakon’s Hall- A new bar on 118th and Amsterdam, which has great lighting, well priced drinks and a bartender who is from St. Louis(Yes!!!) and seems like he just smoked a whole pile of meth(Which makes sense as he hails from Missouri and t makes for great conversation)

2. Tom’s- Aside from the tourists who like to take pictures of the “Seinfeld” restaurant, nothing quite hits the spot like one of their tuna melts and broadway shakes(that’s a little vanilla chocolate mixture for the uninformed) Check it.

1. KORONETS—Not much needs to be said. Biggest pizza slices this side of Chernobyl. There is nothing better than a late night, ending with a huge slice of this gooey, hot, saucy concoction. Sometimes, I want to shower in it.

Those are my lists. Let me know what you think, if you agree, disagree, want to kill me, etc.

Off to Koronets,



  1. I'd add Max's Cafe to underrated. Generally well priced. Decent service. They never carded when I was under-age and you get your food pretty quickly. They also make a wicket panini. However, when I leave there, my eyes need about 10 minutes just to re-adjust to normal lighting because, as you probably could guess, the lighting in the restaurant is too dim to even read their menu.

    In general, nice post. I'm going to start reading your blog. :)

  2. 1. I'm glad I beat Adam to this post.
    2. Also underrated: Roti Roll by anyone who hasn't actually tried it, West (Worst) Place, and the wine store on 124th and Bway.
    3. Tom's SUCKS. Seriously. Corner me one day and I'll tell you why Tom's sucks. Or, better yet, I'll blog about it sometime next week.

  3. underrated and AMAZING:
    symposium, on 114th and amsterdam. an amazing amazing teeny little family owned greek resturant. incredible food, amazing sangria, and the funniest little old greek man owner you will ever meet. perchance my favorite restaurant in manhattan.

    adir...this blog just gave me a few moments of entertainment here in haaretz. you write the way you speak, and it makes me smile.

  4. my tuesday's are not the best days for blogging. first off, today i had a midterm in greek myth. my post yesterday was actually a review to help me...i tied it in well to the key thing huh? Anyways, now i am at my hebrew school job that Adir was considerate enough to pass on to me. I will definitely be writing on this blog it is thursday night and i have no work until monday...ooooo yeaaaaaa

  5. how about trying something BELOW 116 St....


  6. relax, if you had spent some more time reading the blog and less time j'ing in your pants about CMJ, you would have noticed I prefaced the blog by saying I was only rating Columbia establishments. If you'd like, I can do a list of my overrated and underrated places in NY. Just ask nicely

  7. How long has this shtus been going on and how was I, your chief highness of the Upper East, not aware of it.